"I got something good" was all the text msg. said. 24 hour before I told my son to forget about the issues we were having with the apartment & that he should just start to focus on getting back to school & continue to strive for his long-term goal of getting into a good Law School. For a week we had pounded the cell phone text msgs, we had driven 4.5 hrs to & from to prep the apartment to look attractive to potential room-mates and nothing happened. Just a week before I asked God to intervene into our situation - & as the song said after you've done all you can just stand - I had left it to the Lord; we did what we could to that point.
So I am talking to a friend over the phone & the text msg came in ("I got something good"). I knew in my heart that the Lord has started to do his part. My son did not heed my words - by Thursday it was settled, we had an apartment for him not just for 1 year but potentially for the rest of his undergraduate college years - that's half of it. I still had the responsibility of a 1 year lease at an exorbitant figure...I know the Lord is going to make a way but I don't know when & I don't know how. Faith without works is death - so I started to work on this issue.
I asked for advice from a supportive friend - "Kis, signed a lease last April/May (I have to get a copy from the mgmt. company). The rent is $1,414 but $734 with a room-mate. I want to know if it’s given that if you can break the lease – with a penalty I would assume – or is it possible that we are locked in without recourse so to speak." My knowledgeable friend responded, "typically, he would be responsible for the agreed upon rent due for the duration of the contract. you might consider contacting the leaseholder directly to see if they would agree to negotiate to a flat penalty fee (explain hardship or something)... otherwise, they can sue him for the rent due. "
I decided to wait with the intention of negotiating a flat manageable penalty fee.
On Friday I was @ home relaxing to get ready for a long ride & moving to the new apartment the following day. Then my cell phone went off it was a number I did not recognize with the text msg. - "Hi, I am willing to take your apartment (#103, University Club, College Park, MD) on lease. Please let me know till when can you vacate it. Thanks."
Clearly, my first response is to give thanks to God. I have seen the works of the Lord before but it always amazes me how great & real God is in our lives.
On Saturday we took care of moving my son into his new apartment and about 10 minutes ago he told me someone at the Club called him to say you're release from your lease.
I am so grateful to the Lord for supporting us through this ordeal, for giving my son the opportunity to experience the Lord's power and to start another semester on one of those college campuses I love so well.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
I am not ambitious enough for myself
My Dad was not an educated professional yet from the time I knew myself he was ambitious for me. I am convinced that my parents' expectations for me influenced my choices as a teen-ager. My parents did not have a lot, well in comparison to my adulthood, but I knew they did their best for us. I felt my parents' love even when they made a decision I did not agree with. One characteristic I was certain I possessed growing up was the ambition they instilled in me.
So, what happened? I have been learning lately that I am not ambitious for myself but that all my ambition is for my children. I am aware that I am very proud of my daughter's athletic achievement, but at 5 years old I was just as proud of her that she could finish a 25 yard back stroke; in fact, in my mind that was the height of my pride. I am very close to my children because I ought to be. I attend all the special functions - Christmas concerts, free-throw shooting contest, piano recital, 4 hour swim meets, parent conferences u name it because my parent was ambitious enough for me to be able to accomplish these things for my children. Yes, I could do & be less for my children & drive a BMW 328i or an Escalade or whatever...but that would not be doing the best for my children...and how contradictory would it be if I asked my children to be the best they can be while I am not being the best I could be for them.
In my mind I am just as ambitious as I was @ 18 y.o. walking up Mountain View Avenue day-dreaming of making a better life for myself & my parents and while "real life" has been raining on my dreams & drive as I watch my children' resolve to realize their ambitions they encourage me to continue to strife to be a better me.
So, what happened? I have been learning lately that I am not ambitious for myself but that all my ambition is for my children. I am aware that I am very proud of my daughter's athletic achievement, but at 5 years old I was just as proud of her that she could finish a 25 yard back stroke; in fact, in my mind that was the height of my pride. I am very close to my children because I ought to be. I attend all the special functions - Christmas concerts, free-throw shooting contest, piano recital, 4 hour swim meets, parent conferences u name it because my parent was ambitious enough for me to be able to accomplish these things for my children. Yes, I could do & be less for my children & drive a BMW 328i or an Escalade or whatever...but that would not be doing the best for my children...and how contradictory would it be if I asked my children to be the best they can be while I am not being the best I could be for them.
In my mind I am just as ambitious as I was @ 18 y.o. walking up Mountain View Avenue day-dreaming of making a better life for myself & my parents and while "real life" has been raining on my dreams & drive as I watch my children' resolve to realize their ambitions they encourage me to continue to strife to be a better me.
Friday, August 21, 2009
College - Affordability
Yes, I am still stressing about back to college. Today I was reflecting on my friend's pre-college experience. I find myself struggling between the world of Faith - where I trust God to take care of my well-being, security & direct me thru his words to make the right decisions & the world of Works - where I feel "I" must apply brain & brawn to take care of my family's needs and even indulge their desires. They should not be mutually exclusive but the temptation is to be either one or the other. So after much praying & I suppose conversations my friend's son decides to go to Community College - I suppose given the economic choices that are forced on parents - he could go to Florida Tech or Comm. Coll. - this is a good resolution for my friend & it makes me reflect on my decision to send my own son to a school that is costing me $30, 000 per year living expense included.
These are the reflections that make me feel a bit like J.Alfred Prufrock in T.S. Eliot's - Selected Poem
"No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;Am an attendant lord, one that will doTo swell a progress, start a scene or two,Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,Deferential, glad to be of use, Politic, cautious, and meticulous;Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—Almost, at times, the Fool".
Exactly! at the end of these reflections & feelings of doubt I sometimes feel like a Fool.
So after going thru iterations of reflections I decided that my sacrifice is a response to my own college & professional experience. When my friend's son decided to enroll into Community College I thought that this was a good decision for them - given their situation - I am convinced that God responded to our prayers my friend’s son now has a positive attitude of starting his career in Comm. Coll.
I am apprehensive about talented people starting their career in Comm. Colleges - the environment can be less than challenging & ultimately deny the individual the opportunity to be, it's corny but I am going to say it, the best he can be. On the other hand, a year ago I told my daughter's new swim Coach I like the current environment because she's challenged by advanced competitors. His response was if you have the right coach it should not matter...and I became convinced that he was, by & large, right; but there is a saying 99% right is 100% wrong. A week ago this same coach was extolling to me the benefit of competition in practice (now do you see why I am weird: I remember things). I believe it doesn't really matter where you go to school Harvard or Neighborhood CC as long as they are teaching the same thing & holding the student responsible to learn the same thing.
In reality it is competition that drives most people. I consider myself a driven person thru college...I persevered against all sorts of odds, but I also recall many people I respect who were not able or willing to. When I left UWI one of my professors recommended that I should go to Columbia, after living in NY for 1 year I realized that was out of my economic reach & applied for a recommended private College - the finance counselor immediately recommended the more affordable CUNY - they knew I would not be able to afford attending school there. After attending CUNY at nights 5 to 6 courses per semester I attempted the CPA exams. When I began to study for the exam I realized that I had awareness of approx. 40% of the material...Hello! You get what you pay for. There were no competition in these classes - people stalled their way thru classes because they did not prepare for the classes & most of the adjuncts were just trying to make an extra buck or just liked teaching but realized they did not have the students who were hungry for knowledge...instead people looking to get a better job by half-sleeping their way thru a degree.
My son did start at one of the more affordable University in his freshman year. It was very easy for him...should have gotten straight A except he could not attend a concert on a non-school day or he would have lost his part-time job. He took a B in music. This is the best of the affordable schools in our region - but I recall that while the University's business school ranked 70 nationwide their graduates’ average starting salary were 2/3 of schools that were ranked more than 10 places behind them.
Nevertheless, i am still praying that God will provide that "coach" in Community College that will make the difference for my friends' son to realize his potential & transfer to the renown college that will allow him the same opportunity at success as my own child.
One cannot fairly compare a freshman year with a sophomore year, but I have seen a difference. My son has not shown the personality to rise above his environment (evidenced in H.S) but he possesses the drive to compete. So, yea I am living beyond my means trying to give my son the best (perceived) education I can afford to give him & I am living in Faith that God will see us thru the next 2 years.
These are the reflections that make me feel a bit like J.Alfred Prufrock in T.S. Eliot's - Selected Poem
"No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;Am an attendant lord, one that will doTo swell a progress, start a scene or two,Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,Deferential, glad to be of use, Politic, cautious, and meticulous;Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—Almost, at times, the Fool".
Exactly! at the end of these reflections & feelings of doubt I sometimes feel like a Fool.
So after going thru iterations of reflections I decided that my sacrifice is a response to my own college & professional experience. When my friend's son decided to enroll into Community College I thought that this was a good decision for them - given their situation - I am convinced that God responded to our prayers my friend’s son now has a positive attitude of starting his career in Comm. Coll.
I am apprehensive about talented people starting their career in Comm. Colleges - the environment can be less than challenging & ultimately deny the individual the opportunity to be, it's corny but I am going to say it, the best he can be. On the other hand, a year ago I told my daughter's new swim Coach I like the current environment because she's challenged by advanced competitors. His response was if you have the right coach it should not matter...and I became convinced that he was, by & large, right; but there is a saying 99% right is 100% wrong. A week ago this same coach was extolling to me the benefit of competition in practice (now do you see why I am weird: I remember things). I believe it doesn't really matter where you go to school Harvard or Neighborhood CC as long as they are teaching the same thing & holding the student responsible to learn the same thing.
In reality it is competition that drives most people. I consider myself a driven person thru college...I persevered against all sorts of odds, but I also recall many people I respect who were not able or willing to. When I left UWI one of my professors recommended that I should go to Columbia, after living in NY for 1 year I realized that was out of my economic reach & applied for a recommended private College - the finance counselor immediately recommended the more affordable CUNY - they knew I would not be able to afford attending school there. After attending CUNY at nights 5 to 6 courses per semester I attempted the CPA exams. When I began to study for the exam I realized that I had awareness of approx. 40% of the material...Hello! You get what you pay for. There were no competition in these classes - people stalled their way thru classes because they did not prepare for the classes & most of the adjuncts were just trying to make an extra buck or just liked teaching but realized they did not have the students who were hungry for knowledge...instead people looking to get a better job by half-sleeping their way thru a degree.
My son did start at one of the more affordable University in his freshman year. It was very easy for him...should have gotten straight A except he could not attend a concert on a non-school day or he would have lost his part-time job. He took a B in music. This is the best of the affordable schools in our region - but I recall that while the University's business school ranked 70 nationwide their graduates’ average starting salary were 2/3 of schools that were ranked more than 10 places behind them.
Nevertheless, i am still praying that God will provide that "coach" in Community College that will make the difference for my friends' son to realize his potential & transfer to the renown college that will allow him the same opportunity at success as my own child.
One cannot fairly compare a freshman year with a sophomore year, but I have seen a difference. My son has not shown the personality to rise above his environment (evidenced in H.S) but he possesses the drive to compete. So, yea I am living beyond my means trying to give my son the best (perceived) education I can afford to give him & I am living in Faith that God will see us thru the next 2 years.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
College
Ok, so it is obvious I am stressing over "back to college". For 2 1/2 months my son has been trying to get a room-mate. His room-mate last year for some reason or another will not be returning for his sophomore year... this kid is from a Southwestern state & his parent might have come to realize that going to a state sponsored school 3000 miles away for exorbitant amounts of green-backs does not make sense...sorta what I shoulda done except I was born in the 60s & have some weird (my wife has another a less charming word for it) impression that "one" does better when "one" feels free (do you see what I mean - who says things like that?). Alright, rewind...as a kid I saw the movie "Born free": enough said?
There I go again, off on a tangent. So we can't find a room-mate & evidently we're stuck with a rent the size of a decent mortgage in Prince Georges County. I asked the management company if there is any other student in our situation & basically they told me that they will try to divert traffic our way as soon as they fill there vacancies. In addition, we are not permitted to form our own leases with potential room-mates because it's their rule. So yes, I am frustrated at the way the management company has taken advantage of us...but in many ways I realize that this is my own doing. I allowed my son to do a lot of the leg-work so he could understand these things before he graduates to the "real world", but I should have supervised him a little keener.
Regardless, this is a reflection that education is no longer serendipity but rather another source of making the numbers for entrepreneurs. Hello! It’s a business! I feel taken advantage of; is that viable or sustainable?
Did I digress? Maybe, maybe not; maybe I am dissecting the reason why educating our children is so expensive...I am a committed believer in basic economic theory...a means of rationing scarce goods & services...we tolerate the expense because we know from experience that education is an extremely valuable asset. My bad! Education is a valuable & an incomparable asset. My bad!! Education is a valuable unique time-sensitive asset. Hell! It creates unpredictable amounts of wealth & some security.
I am stressed out today but a dozen years from now I may be looking retirement a decade away reflecting...OMG that felt overwhelming...but I am glad I endured it for my children.:))
There I go again, off on a tangent. So we can't find a room-mate & evidently we're stuck with a rent the size of a decent mortgage in Prince Georges County. I asked the management company if there is any other student in our situation & basically they told me that they will try to divert traffic our way as soon as they fill there vacancies. In addition, we are not permitted to form our own leases with potential room-mates because it's their rule. So yes, I am frustrated at the way the management company has taken advantage of us...but in many ways I realize that this is my own doing. I allowed my son to do a lot of the leg-work so he could understand these things before he graduates to the "real world", but I should have supervised him a little keener.
Regardless, this is a reflection that education is no longer serendipity but rather another source of making the numbers for entrepreneurs. Hello! It’s a business! I feel taken advantage of; is that viable or sustainable?
Did I digress? Maybe, maybe not; maybe I am dissecting the reason why educating our children is so expensive...I am a committed believer in basic economic theory...a means of rationing scarce goods & services...we tolerate the expense because we know from experience that education is an extremely valuable asset. My bad! Education is a valuable & an incomparable asset. My bad!! Education is a valuable unique time-sensitive asset. Hell! It creates unpredictable amounts of wealth & some security.
I am stressed out today but a dozen years from now I may be looking retirement a decade away reflecting...OMG that felt overwhelming...but I am glad I endured it for my children.:))
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
College
Last Saturday I was on the beautiful campus of PSU in Happy Valley. I love college campuses; they are the incubators of centuries of youthful dreams. Incidentally, as my daughter finished her swim & realize that she would not make it to the finals I got a flashback of my college dreams morphing into dark disappointment which still colors my most inward ambitions. Nonetheless, for many many years my ability to enroll into the University of the WI had been the source of my confidence; that I could learn anything I set my mind to.
I recalled those days when I was enormously jealous of my American counterparts who had the choice of countless colleges to pursue their lives ambitions in contrast to my limited option of 1 yes (one) degree granting institution for which you must pass the then prestigious Cambridge 'A' Levels to be considered for enrollment.
I digress. My son is currently enrolled on one of these campuses I love so well, but I do not like the experience from a parent POV, & this is the source of my current contention. I could continue to ramble on & on. My bone of contention is how expensive it is to attend state sponsored schools when you're from out-of-state. This discriminating (trust me i know that word is too strong) practice is very disconcerting (i don't even care if that is a word) to me. Strangely it is so un-American (not the word the practice) while it is so American. I wonder, does that happen anywhere else in the WORLD??? I am feeling the angst & anxiety of many many parents before me & many many parent now & OMG others after me. Oh no! I don't pretend to know or understand everything & I know the smart people before me "must" have considered reciprocity, i.e. let all students pay the same tuition. The state is already benefiting from the spending created by the out of state students, the neighborhood is experiencing artificially higher real estate values...HELLO! When is enough GREED enough? These so-called non-profit Higher Education institutions are as manipulating as those Hollywood studios that make a ton of money by getting parents to accompany their children to MUST see movies. What am I saying? These guys are no different from the gluttons who offered me exams to write on things I could barely imagine. I mean, if you grow up in the islands or W. Africa or some perennially hot famine infested former colony; how can you intelligently relate to the state of mind of a boy, girl, man or woman who lives in some English countryside in the depth of winter.
Ok, I am rambling now. RECIPROCITY - for state sponsored schools - yea I know it's not going to happen now...but I don’t want to see my daughter crying again @ one of these college campuses that I love so well.
I recalled those days when I was enormously jealous of my American counterparts who had the choice of countless colleges to pursue their lives ambitions in contrast to my limited option of 1 yes (one) degree granting institution for which you must pass the then prestigious Cambridge 'A' Levels to be considered for enrollment.
I digress. My son is currently enrolled on one of these campuses I love so well, but I do not like the experience from a parent POV, & this is the source of my current contention. I could continue to ramble on & on. My bone of contention is how expensive it is to attend state sponsored schools when you're from out-of-state. This discriminating (trust me i know that word is too strong) practice is very disconcerting (i don't even care if that is a word) to me. Strangely it is so un-American (not the word the practice) while it is so American. I wonder, does that happen anywhere else in the WORLD??? I am feeling the angst & anxiety of many many parents before me & many many parent now & OMG others after me. Oh no! I don't pretend to know or understand everything & I know the smart people before me "must" have considered reciprocity, i.e. let all students pay the same tuition. The state is already benefiting from the spending created by the out of state students, the neighborhood is experiencing artificially higher real estate values...HELLO! When is enough GREED enough? These so-called non-profit Higher Education institutions are as manipulating as those Hollywood studios that make a ton of money by getting parents to accompany their children to MUST see movies. What am I saying? These guys are no different from the gluttons who offered me exams to write on things I could barely imagine. I mean, if you grow up in the islands or W. Africa or some perennially hot famine infested former colony; how can you intelligently relate to the state of mind of a boy, girl, man or woman who lives in some English countryside in the depth of winter.
Ok, I am rambling now. RECIPROCITY - for state sponsored schools - yea I know it's not going to happen now...but I don’t want to see my daughter crying again @ one of these college campuses that I love so well.
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